Can’t help but notice…

“So you like my tits!”

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It is hard to resist instinct.  Most guys can’t help but glance down to catch a glimpse of a little cleavage.  I image it might be the same for girls attracted to the same sex (you are free to comment).  I think it is even harder for me to keep eye contact when both attraction and envy are at play.

I didn’t really know what this was like until I started to grow breasts of my own.  I spend most of the day as a guy, and let my hair down at home.  Still there is no ignoring the obvious in front of me.  I probably have a B cup size these days and they are obvious to me, my kids, my parents (ugh), certainly my wife, and the COWORKERS.  The latter category is where most of the looks down come from.  Male, female, they are equal offenders.  I think they actually look more than I do!  I wonder what questions might be in their head:

Low testosterone? Yes.  Gynecomastia? Yes but self-induced.  Trans? Definitely on that spectrum.  HRT?  Absolutely!

I don’t share my gender issues with anyone except those who are closest with me (and in a blog of course), but I wish someone would ask about my boobs so I could get some satisfaction out of the shock value and humor of it all.  I know the glances I receive are out of curiosity and not lust, but I would like to blurt out, “So you like my tits!”  I can only imagine the horror and surprised looks on their faces.

In the past, I could bury my treasures in baggy clothes, but at this point it really doesn’t matter what I wear and that has helped me accept who I am a little more.  I am still horrified when I see pictures of myself on Facebook with my bra outline clearly visible.  Does everyone else see it?  I am sure there are girls at work who know, others that may also see it, but despite my fears this is also good and helps lead me further down the path of being myself.

I am still a bit self-conscious about my appearance considering I still present myself as a man.  Slowly I push my envelope and add new femininity into my everyday life.  Despite my fears, I desperately want my breasts to keep growing and perhaps show off a little more of my cleavage.