Hi, I’m Davina

Life is confusing sometimes.  This is where I sort it all out.  I am Davina, a heterosexual male who has longed to be a woman since I can remember.  These are my challenges and triumphs in my daily struggle to find my place.

In this politically charged society it is hard hanging out in the middle.  That is exactly how I feel, I want to be a girl but know that no matter what changes I may make, deep down I cannot change the basics of my biology.  There is no magic pill to transform me, I cannot alter my body enough to truly know what it is like to be a woman, and I cannot force myself or society to accept me as I am or view me as I want to be.  Yin and Yang meet where I begin and forever pull me in two directions.  The best I can do is make some changes in my life to allow me to enjoy my feminine side and all that women take for granted every day.

I think it was second grade when I realized I was a bit different.  Boys being their cruel selves said I looked like a girl.  I don’t know if I did or not but I always appreciated the opposite sex and was more comfortable in their company.  I played the boy role too, played as the rest of the boys did, Superman, Batman and Robin ran around in the back yard but i payed much more attention to Linda Carter on TV playing Wonder Woman.  I see kids today like ‘Jazz’ and think that I never even had the possibility to dress as a girl.  I did play dress-up but always under a false protest as a cousin would doll me up in some way.  I suppose that this starts to bring up how it started for me, I noticed and appreciated the things that girls had and I didn’t.  Some may think it is sexual, a perversion, but I think it is something more.  It was envy, I wanted those things too.

Late Elementary is where the curiosity really took off and where the blog will continue.

 

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